Hubs and I have been married for 7 years, and together for 8. Time flies when you’re having fun! Let me start off by saying that we are not perfect. Although he is my superman, he does have flaws. I am not even close to perfect, and our marriage isn’t perfect. But we both take the time and effort to work on our marriage.
I would say our first year in marriage was the hardest. There was a lot of work to be done, I was still living with my parents before we got married so, I never lived alone. When I was with my parents I had a full-time job as a Starbucks manager with no bills to pay! Every week was a shopping spree for me! When Jordan and I got married, I was not used to having bills. You don’t even want to get me started on the idea of saving! Jordan majored in financing and accounting, so numbers and budgets is what he sleeps, eats, and breaths! You see where I am going with this right?
Well, year after year, and after many marriage books, and lots of prayers, the arguments are not like what they used to be (we know how to fight) and our marriage is rock solid. Here is the thing, marriage is work, and you must take time to nurture it. You are both in this together! Here are five things we do to keep our marriage healthy:
- God is at the center of it all – He is our foundation. He is the third strand in our marriage. What he binds together let no man tear apart. We both understand our marriage is not only about having fun with each other but more about glorifying Him so that others will want to have a marriage like ours and come to know God through that experience.
- We know our roles in our marriage – Let me stop by saying my husband does not rule over me, and nor do I rule over him. God rules over both of us, we are equal, but I do submit to my husband because he submits to God. I was created to help my husband. In 1 Peter 3:1-2 Peter said, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,” in Colossians 3:18-19 it says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” But husbands are also told to “… love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” My husband is held responsible for our house.. “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church”-Ephesians 5:23. But in that role, he knows how to lead our family to Christ, he also watches out for us and takes cares of us. He also knows that if he doesn’t his prayers won’t be answered. “… since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 … and can I get an amen from all the wives?!
- We surrounded ourselves with other friends who have good marriages. We are very careful with who we let in our circle, we don’t surround ourselves with people who complain about their marriage, or whatever the case may be. Again I know no marriage is perfect but, our inner circle are friends who love their spouses, and who want to please God and who reflect Christ in their marriage.
- We communicate in EVERYTHING. Jordan will ask me if he can go out and do XYZ, and so do I. I always talk to him about what I am spending (although, I will admit I need to get better at this). We don’t hide things, we share our finances, we share our feelings, and most importantly we share our dreams and goals.
- We have fun together. My favorite thing about Jordan is how silly he is. I love our tickle fights in bed, our competitiveness (side note – he owes me money because he lost to a game of hit the light pole while we were playing outside with the boys.) We both know how to have fun together and how to be friends.
Photog by Loren By Elysian Fine Art
How do you keep your marriage healthy? What are some things you have seen that works or doesn’t work? Share them below!