We have all said over and over again how 2020 was a rough year. But I’ve been thinking a lot recently- what if 2020 was a year of growth for many of us? Growth isn’t always comfortable but often necessary.
I feel like, for me, 2020 was a year where A LOT came to the surface. A lot of things happen last year too. But, over the years, I have mastered hustling and going from point A to point B. Shoving my feelings aside, thinking to myself- I have to be this strong Christian woman. My family needs me, and my friends need me. But in the end, I feel like I’m in the circus juggling all these different plates hoping and praying to God none of them fall.
This year, I feel God chiseling away things, feelings, perceptions, expectations, holds that have weighed down on me for a long time. Things I have pushed to the side, that God is saying
“we need to work through that”.
Honestly, I’m scared.
I know I am not perfect, but it’s honestly a whole lot easier to shove things to the side. I mean, in the long run, it’s not. But you get what I mean.
I grew up going to a Latin church, and you can say it was a mix of how I was raised, the church I grew up in, and being told to “pray it out”. Thinking I was supposed to be this strong, bold, fearless, never scared or worried believer. I was brought up with the idea that I should be able to do it all.
And what a horrible idea that is.
The first thing I am learning to release is the idea of being and doing it all. I have carried the weight of perfectionism, what other people think, trying to please others for far too long.
I’m weak, and it’s in my weakness that he is made strong. I can not do it all, I can’t carry the burden of life alone. And for far too long, I have tried.
I need to let a lot go. I need to open my hands and release a lot. If I keep my fists closed and clenched and can’t let go and let God do what he does best, I also can’t receive healing or the things he has in store for me.
While having a closed fist feels safe, I don’t want safe anymore. I need Jesus, his love, his grace.
The Message translation of 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 says,
“Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer… I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.”
I don’t know why, but take limitations with stride hits me. Living in the 21 century, we don’t do limitations well. The sky the limit- right? But what if it’s not supposed to be that way? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
For now, I’m learning to set limits with good cheer, knowing that I am and can be weak because in my weakness is where God is made stronger in me.
What are somethings you have learned from 2020? What are some things God is speaking to you?
Thank you so much for stopping by! Have a great day.
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